Manifestations
by Yamato's Tiger Lily
Summary: Originally a oneshot. This is a small vignette series about how depression would probably manifest for each brother.
1. Chapter One: Osomatsu

**Manifestations**

Sometimes, it came in the form of nightmares. Sometimes, it's manifested in the crappy movies he'd watch with his younger brothers. While it was a very traumatizing event for the Matsuno family, Osomatsu was dragged along with Tougou and was almost forced to commit crimes. Osomatsu was the first one he threatened and held him at knife point.

When Chibita wanted Tougou to visit him, it took all his willpower not tell him the truth. He used to wonder why Tougou targeted his family; why was he the one find out the truth about the kind stranger? Why was he the one who had to be alone in this?

These thoughts would often cloud his thoughts and take him back to that dark, traumatizing place he was when he was a child. It's pathetic, really, letting such a ridiculous situation affect him to this day. However, it would manifest itself even worse when he was alone. When his brothers go out and have their own lives, Osomatsu understands this, as a man and as a person. As a brother, though, he has to protect them – no matter what. His quiet depression manifested itself in other ways.

He almost failed to protect not just his brothers, but his mother and father. A secret depression that Osomatsu carries on his shoulder but carries on day to day that he can't really share with anyone. He takes his depression to the races and to the pachinko parlors. He'd steal the wallets of his precious little brothers – because it was a forced habit made by Tougou. He may have made his brothers just as addicted to pachinko as he did, which made him feel more guilty, but he wasn't going to say anything if they weren't. Was this how he'd manifested Tougou's habits?

And yet, he couldn't leave his brothers alone. When he realized Todomatsu hadn't been telling him, or the other brothers, anything about his life.

"Maybe it's his rebellious phase," he'd tell himself. "He'll be loveable Totty again soon!" he silently hope.

He never liked being alone, even as an adult. His younger brothers are is his everything and the only people he has left once his mother and father are gone. Even though money is a nice thing to have, what's the use of money if he didn't have his precious little brothers to share it with? And once again, he feels guilty of the past. He didn't mean to catch Tougou that night. He tried so very hard to tell his family about him but Tougou always found a way. He always manifested through Osomatsu, somehow.

Because of that awful man, Osomatsu hates being alone and being without his brothers. He couldn't stand being without them. He knew Tougou manifested this way again – when he'd try to warn them about the truth of his nature. He'd try to tell his father, his mother, even Chibita, about Tougou and yet he'd somehow appear.

Osomatsu carried these silent manifestations in his heart and through his horrible habits and kept them deep within his heart. Sometimes, he'd have nightmares of that incident and he'd stay awake at night to wait for these horrible thoughts to fly by. If there's any hope for Osomatsu, if there's anything that helps him sleep and keeps his spirit up, it's the fact that he alone carried the pain and the manifestations – and that his family are safe.


	2. Chapter Two: Karamatsu

**Manifestations**

 **Chapter Two**

 _Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?_

A childhood phrase Karamatsu had learned in English all on his own but with no one to share it with. The second son suffers, as the mythos went, but Karamatsu was strong. He's the obedient brother who went along with Osomatsu's naughty plots that would more likely have him hurt. Others didn't comment and the others didn't seem to care – but as long as his brothers weren't hurt, that was something he was willing to deal with, his manifestations revealed. It was something he always dealt with; as long as they're safe from harm.

Since they were young, Karamatsu had felt the brunt of Osomatsu's failed plans. He's always the target of some cruel comment and he always bled at least once a day. And it was okay. His brothers never had a high tolerance to pain, not like he had. Sometimes, he'd sing his pain away, a manifestation of his loneliness and his need to cry out, only to fall down as a reminder of his station in life. He'll always fall below and look at his brothers from the ground up.

Not once had they ever extended a hand to help. Never had they said anything about his fashion beyond, "It's painful!" or "It's embarrassing!" As long as he had their attentions, Karamatsu would do anything to get it – positive, or especially negative. His attention seeking ways manifested further and further as he donned on outdated fashion styles; anything to help garner his brothers to notice him in anyway… However, he could never imagine he could actually cause them pain…

Karamatsu never had any complaints he'd say out loud other than being ignored. What hurt the most was being ignored by his brothers, even in a life and death situation, even when he was kidnapped by Chibita for their tab. It hurt. It felt that he never belonged within the Matsuno family and he always felt that no one could depend on him.

Osomatsu would always make a joke at his expense, at least once, and then went towards Choromatsu. Choromatsu was third in line and, instead of going to Karamatsu, he'd go straight for number one. Instead of opening his arms to his big brother, Ichimatsu would close his heart to him and he'd harm him, either with words or with his cats. Jyushimatsu, well, he was in own world… No one could ever truly tell what went through the fifth son's mind. And with the youngest, it's hard to say but if Karamatsu would allow these dark thoughts to invade his blue soul, he'd know the answer. He'd know that Osomatsu was the favorite of the youngest as he had always been the most reliable, even if Karamatsu managed to almost receive expulsion just to get Todomatsu in the high school play.

He's always wanted his brothers to depend on him but they would never. They never looked his way. They ignored him. He'd do anything for their attention, their love. The blues he'd sing out in the open, hoping that someone could take those words and keep it close to their hearts. Karamatsu could only depend on Karamatsu. He only had his reflection, which stared back at him with a strong and handsome smile. Another positive manifestation of this unique situation is that, he'll take the brunt of his brothers' cruelty if it meant that they'll never suffer the same fate as him.


	3. Chapter Three: Choromatsu

**Manifestations**

 **Chapter Three**

It was a convenient excuse to use for Choromatsu to use. He'd get a job to help support himself and his irresponsible brothers and to start improving each other's' lives. It's clear that Osomatsu has no interest of leaving his sedentary lifestyle while Karamatsu really needed to learn better money management. Ichimatsu just seemed to give up in who knows when… while Jyushimatsu will just be good ol' Jyushimatsu. Todomatsu, on the other hand, seemed to want to separate himself from the brothers, which quite honestly irritated Choromatsu to bits.

He certainly understood the want to be own man, especially when you live with five other guys who look like yourself, but at the same time, to deny family is pretty selfish. His manifestation of his annoyance with Todomatsu came about anytime he and Osomatsu teamed up to tease the third son – but third time's the charm. Choromatsu knows that, eventually, Todomatsu will wise up and accept the fact they have him as brothers.

He may have been as sensitive about them brothers sticking together, not as much as Osomatsu, but he understood it.

Though, he'd tirelessly applied to each job that suited him – something that only he could do. He'd get a simple paper pushing job and just store the money in the account. It was all for the sake of his brothers, there will be no others, his mantra would be. Perhaps this was a manifestation of his feelings for having a lazy eldest brother and an extremely vain one. His younger brothers, of course, have their own handicaps that he'd himself have to shoulder. It was up to Choromatsu to take of them since they can't take care of themselves; Ichimatsu, especially. The younger brother was always alone and didn't seem to care about anything but the strays that'd come in. If Choromatsu wasn't there, he was sure he'd never bathe or ate. He knew it was his duty to take care of the younger ones while the eldest ones went about their days. He should have been the eldest one.

And yet, it happened so suddenly. After he handed one certain application in a music store, after one day with dealing with Osomatsu's clinginess, he'd decide to stick around and browse for a bit. Normally, he'd hear it on the television shows and read random interviews on his Twitter feed. Nothing and no one stood out. There was a CD cover that had a picture of a girl, who donned a cat like appearance, and decided to give it a listen. The cat girl slightly reminded him of his troubled younger brother… He had a passing interest in the pop culture but there was something about this song that got his attention. It wasn't anything different from a standard pop song but… it just met with his feelings just right.

The lyrics weren't anything special. The music was as manufactured as they came, and yet, it opened a new world for him. She wasn't particularly a good singer but he was just so charmed by the song. It allowed him to temporarily forget about his financial problems, which included the growing tab at Chibita's Oden stall. It allowed him to leave this Earth and let him enter Nyaa's world as she took him to a shining new world where she'll open her heart to him. She'll extend her love and friendship for a shy guy like him. She wanted his love and his love only. She didn't want his brothers' love and she didn't want him to think about anyone else but her. While it's clear the song was for a new anime series, Choromatsu was already hooked in. He wanted to experience this feeling over and over… and since then he'd focus his time on Nyaa and Nyaa only.

As he listened to her other songs and watched her concerts, talked with other fans, got to know her through interviews more thoroughly, Choromatsu never realized how much his stress manifested then. He knew he carried the sextuplets' weight on his shoulders and it was his duty to take care of them… but one more song. One more episode. One more volume.

There will always be more jobs to apply to if he just waited. There will be more postings for jobs later. Oh, but Nyaa is going to have a concert soon? Choromatsu has to meet her! He had to save up all his allowance and pachinko winnings as much as he could! He had to meet her!

There might have been a call from a job, but not now! There's someone online who disagreed that Nyaa's newest single sucked! While he could just honestly turn it off, there's no point – they had to be corrected!

As Choromatsu delved deeper in his new disgusting hobbies, he tried to escape the manifestations of his neglect. Osomatsu was still irresponsible and Karamatsu was still way too vain.

Some days, he'd grab a job posting along with his Nyaa goods…. After all, the third's time the charm.


	4. Chapter Four: Ichimatsu

**Manifestations**

 **Chapter Four**

The number four had always been laced with death and despair and Ichimatsu, being the fourth son, was no exception.

As a child, he was ignorant of the world's cruelties and the dark side of human nature. He could always depend on a cool older brother, especially since he had three to choose from, and he knew he was in good hands… but with time, things changed. He started to realize as he grew, he had to start to become independent and how to talk to people outside his family. That's normal, isn't it? It's normal to move beyond family, beyond worrying about friends, and becoming true to his name: One.

But, as the fourth son, he does well to remember that he also has younger brothers to take care of.

He sees Osomatsu, being the leader of the brothers, and usually the brains of everything. He always knew exactly what to do all the time. He always knew what to say. He always had his hands full. He knew he could count on the eldest, if not the laziest.

For however embarrassing Karamatsu is, Ichimatsu had always admired him from the darkness. He sees him get hurt. He sees him get abused. He sees him take the pain for the others with hardly a complaint. He could always depend on Karamatsu in this way, and in a way, he could never express. Combined with envy and annoyance, Ichimatsu continued to lash out at the embarrassing brother. It's embarrassing… It's so embarrassing that despite everything he goes through, he takes it with no problems. Unlike Ichimatsu, someone who's actually pretty sensitive when it comes to the brothers' teasing takes it all with a grain of salt.

And Karamatsu still protects him.

For Choromatsu, he's okay with him. He has no real opinion of Choromatsu although it is nice for his older brother to worry about him but he sees Choromatsu stuck in a rut. He did secretly appreciate Choromatsu always trying to involve him, even if he was annoyed by it. He was grateful for his otaku brother's efforts on making their lives better, even if he's not doing it for himself.

And yet with Jyushimatsu, his polar opposite, he knew that the more energetic was his opposite in every way. Granted, he thought that Jyushimatsu would carry the same amount of despair but he was way off base. Truly, Jyushimatsu is the positive to the negative and Ichimatsu is glad that the younger one always wanted to be with someone who was as miserable as him.

Todomatsu and he weren't that close at all. There's nothing to learn about Todomatsu. He always had a terrible feeling about the younger brother and yet he couldn't place his finger on it.

As the fourth son, he knew he should be closer to Todomatsu, since he was the beginning of the younger half; but he just could never get close to him. He could never get close to anyone beyond Jyushimatsu and he couldn't help if it's because he simply felt bad for the checkered man.

His loneliness would whisper these thoughts in his ears: "You're not worthy." "It's not worth the additional pain." "It's easier to be lonely. " "Why bother mentioning anything? They'll just ignore you." "You're so transparent." "You're so dependent on your brothers." "You're so worthless." "There's no point." "Humans are no good."

Humans are no good.

The thoughts always seemed to cease whenever he was with cats… Cats were cute. Cats didn't involve any other care other than being fed, petted, and played with. Cats chose to be independent but accepted his kindness. Cats never teased him and said anything cruel to him, like how dark his heart may have been or not. Nothing is worse than being ignored, cast aside, and excluded, even if he did it himself. Cats understood loneliness and they thrived in it. Cats never were embarrassing. Cats never ignored him on purpose. Cats weren't a constant reminder of how hard it is to talk to people.

Cats were simple creatures and Ichimatsu, as honest and cowardly he really is, knew his limitations as a human – thus he longed to be as simple as the cat. And yet, even though cats are constantly close to death every day in the streets, Ichimatsu was the fourth son of the family. Even if they were to die that day, they would know they were loved by a simple creature such as himself.


	5. Chapter Five: Jyushimatsu

**Manifestations**

 **Chapter Five**

Simplicity, Jyushimatsu is. There's nothing wrong with that. There are four big brothers, all to choose from! All to play with! Of course, there are times to be mature and there are times to be an adult, but being an adult is really hard!

It's hard to understand why people make it such a big deal to become "independent". It's much more fun to play around and practice the baseball swings. It's something he's never seen before! His brothers had played with him a lot once upon a time! Sometimes, Osomatsu's ideas are fun but other times, we get in trouble.

Karamatsu has a lot of candy to give and he seems to always carry a lot with him… but Jyushimatsu loved to play with him. It's all a game, right?

Choromatsu, well, he's so serious! He seems to be the most "adult" one in all the brothers but he watches cartoons in his spare time. Sometimes, he watches that idol singer, Nyaa. Her music is a little annoying but whatever makes Choromatsu happy, Jyushimatsu thought.

And yet, there's poor, poor Ichimatsu. He's always really sad. Jyushimatsu doesn't want his best friend being sad. When he visited Professor Dekapan with the cat, all Jyushimatsu wanted was to help Ichimatsu. It did make him a little sad to hear those things about how he didn't need anyone.

It made Jyushimatsu sad when Totty didn't want to hang out with him. He always wanted to be a good boy in the eyes of Mama, Papa, Osomatsu, Karamatsu, Choromatsu, Ichimatsu, and Totty. He cleaned up after himself and he knew that his hyperness annoyed his brothers to no end – but he wanted to play. He wanted to play with them because he loves them so much.

He told himself that if he can make one million swings, he promised to himself he'll graduate. He always hid his true self because sometimes people around Mama would say he's "special" but he's really not that special. He knew Mama never liked it when he got too excited but everything around him was so exciting! He just liked to play around. He wanted everyone to have a good time. Why won't anyone play with him?

And yet, all this alone time gave Jyushimatsu time to think. He had to build the strength, twice as much and twice as hard. He had to push harder, mentally and physically, twice as much and twice as hard. He wanted his brothers to be really proud of him and to accept him.

The only one who did was her. She loved the silly gags he did for her though, though Jyushimatsu often wondered if she dated him to thank him for saving her life. All he ever wanted was the people he loved to be happy… It hurt when she left… but at least she lived.

All Jyushimatsu wanted was for his brothers is to live. All he wanted to was to play a game of baseball with his family and with her.

Mystery, mystery!


	6. Chapter Six: Todomatsu

**Manifestations**

 **Chapter Six**

The last son of the litter is usually the runt of the family – someone the older ones in the family they can push around and use as a scapegoat. Even though they were all the same age, Todomatsu still had that looming feeling that if he wouldn't toughen up, he'd be left behind.

Naturally, it was natural for Todomatsu to cling to someone, even if that someone was Osomatsu himself. Granted, he quickly became dependent on all his other brothers and was thusly spoiled. He used the fact that he was the youngest against them so many times and he could tell it'd annoyed them; but he didn't care – he was already spoiled rotten.

He'd almost gotten Karamatsu expelled from school just so he himself could be in the school play. Most children would feel guilty about what they did and he did, for a bit. Soon he realized the elder brothers' true devotion to the family in a way that Todomatsu couldn't really understand.

It was true that he cared about them but at the same time, as he would hear from his friends, they were maybe a little too close for comfort. Sometimes Todomatsu didn't want to do all the things they wanted to do all the time together, pachinko, go drinking, watch the horses, and that's not including living together. Were siblings, especially those twins, triplets and others, this close, Todomatsu often wondered.

Detachment is what Todomatsu suffered from as he was apathetic for his brothers' cries of loneliness. They shared each other's lives – why did he had to share what went on outside of the Matsuno household? They were their own men, weren't they? Wasn't living together enough for them? Todomatsu never truly understood Osomatsu's loneliness nor did he really care to. It's fun to gang up on Choromatsu or to make a comment about Karamatsu's terrible fashion.

Ichimatsu has always been too glum for Todomatsu to really do anything with him. So he'd ignore the depressed older brother while Jyushimatsu was only good for board games, or just if he needed a partner to work out with.

Todomatsu was his own man, even if that meant he took an interest in more fashionable things. He wanted to look nice, even with the sixth same face as his brothers. It's a pity that Osomatsu is lazy. It's too bad Karamatsu's outfits were outdated – maybe they could have been shopping buddies together. Choromatsu's hobbies are disgusting and it's up to Todomatsu to shame him at every corner. He's given completely up on Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu is just a play thing.

Well, not to say he's a dried up monster… it did hurt whenever the older brothers called him that but eventually it passed. Maybe, Todomatsu is just narcissistic and just honestly cannot relate to his brothers the same way most people would to their siblings. It's a little sad, though. He missed the days where they all played together but, in the end, Todomatsu _has_ to be his own man.


	7. Epilogue: Mama

**Manifestations**

 **Epilogue**

Oh, my dear sons. They think Mama doesn't pay attention. Papa is always at work, and always drank, so Mama had to do the hard work for everyone. Feeding them, clothing them, and taking care of them while they were sick… Those lazy and ungrateful NEETS! They think it was easy carrying them during pregnancy? Did they think it's easy for Mama to do everything she did for them? It's annoying that I haven't had a decent sleep in such a long time – I'm so used to this sextuplets lifestyle, I don't remember what it's like to have a proper vacation! And Papa never wanted to do anything extra! He's so old fashioned that way and I know I should have expected it – but it would have been nice to get a little help every so often!

While I try my hardest for the family, I've noticed that I've been getting even less sleep lately. Weren't they supposed to be out of here by 18? Weren't they supposed to study for exams and go to a college with a nice job? Maybe find a nice girl to have children with and start a family of their own? No, of course not. Nothing is ever easy for the Matsuno family… I see how my sons suffer; I see how they carry the weight of their burdens on their shoulders.

Osomatsu is the worst with money – I see him always being paid off by his younger siblings to let certain things slip by. He wastes his time at the pachinko parlors and at the horse races. Did he forget that money doesn't grow on trees? I know he caused the boys to have that horrible addiction – they go wherever he goes; after all, he is their leader. However, I know my son and he's not in a right state of mind. Did he forget that he's not the only one who suffered through the Tougou incident? Did he not realize I know what Tougou tried to make my precious son do? I'll never forget Tougou, and I'll never forgive him either. My poor gambling son…

And then Karamatsu tries so hard to fit in with his brothers. It's easy to ignore him because he tries so hard. Why should I give him extra attention that he would have gotten otherwise? He's also terrible with money and wastes it on frivolous things. Does he also not realize that Papa and I can hear his singing on the rooftops?! Does he not realize how many calls we get about our embarrassing and bluesy son? It's almost enough to tear your hair out! But… I know he takes the brunt of the brothers and I know he's trying very hard to fit in. The fact of the matter is, he's not like them at all. They may have the same faces, but Karamatsu sacrifices the most for all of them. I let him sing. I apologize to our neighbors constantly and I don't mind. My son has a blue heart and he needs to let it sing. My poor abused son…

The one I'm most disappointed in, though, is Choromatsu. He promised me a grandchild during the interviews. He promised me he'd get a job "eventually", "soon". When is soon, Choromatsu? Stop stealing your brothers' porn and masturbate somewhere else where Osomatsu wouldn't have had to walk in on you! Disgusting otaku! How do you think I feel when I see you go out, claiming you're going to apply to places, only to come back with more anime goods? If you're going to say you're going to do something, actually do it! Don't give people hope and then trample on them! Though, honestly, after 20 years of trying to keep it together myself, I can understand the need to just goof off and forget about it. He tries, my dearest Choromatsu, and I do spoil not just the others – but him as well. My poor otaku son…

Though, Ichimatsu is one I'm especially worried about. He never does anything and never says anything that isn't abusive towards his brother. It's funny at times but I do worry about him. It's annoying seeing all these dead birds and mice that his strays bring to the house. Who does he think cleans it up? Does he think that these cats don't appreciate all the food he gives away to them? Who does he think actually pay for the food? These cats of his also poop and pee everywhere in the house too! I know he doesn't care about his looks, scents – but this is my house! He doesn't have to do any extra cleaning nor does the laundry! All he does is just sit in the corner and stares creepily into the distance. He just pets his cats all day and just tags along with rest of his brothers. How useless…! It is easy to see that he does want to spend more time with his brothers. He lashes out with his cats and takes on a persona of one to express himself, although it's very weird of him. He tries to act intimidating but I know he doesn't want anyone to be close to him… and yet he intimidates with those lonesome eyes. My poor lonely son…

Meanwhile, Jyushimatsu is so hyper and energetic – I can't keep up with him anymore. I remember people used to try to put him down when he was younger, saying that he's not like the other kids. Perhaps this is my fault too, for always coddling him and buying him all those baseball gear and movies. I spoil my sons so but he's doing something. He's building strength and he's building perseverance – but he won't lose his childishness and I have to protect him from the cruel world. Jyushimatsu is a good boy and he is quite playful. I have no real ill will towards this NEET but I wish he'd mature a little bit more so he can survive in the world. He can't do it by himself… Oh, my poor energetic son…

And last but not least, Todomatsu. He's just as vain as much as Karamatsu, he's just as greedy as Osomatsu, disgustingly obsessed with something like Choromatsu, energetic as Jyushimatsu, and just as lonesome as Ichimatsu. I know he doesn't like to be compared to his brothers and I suppose that's understandable – but he still needs acknowledge his big brothers and realize that they're always going to be there. He's a disgusting and lazy NEET too – did he think I wouldn't notice him lying about his brothers' existence? And then he has the gall to torture poor Choromatsu as well, even if it was hilarious. Todomatsu is quite fashionable but I worry that he may not actually feel anything beyond the shallow point. He's hard to understand and I truly hope he'll accept his brothers one day. Oh, my poor narcissistic son…!

These useless NEETs, I've spoiled them to the core. But, ah, I wish they'd paid attention more to each other and how much they truly care. Perhaps these are just their manifestations.


End file.
